So after lunch, the debate over religion continued on a bit. I stopped by Bev's (the aforementioned VP) office on my way to get a coke at lunch, and started praising the Brothers Karamazov to her. When I told her it was 900 pags, she said, well I can't read that, it's too long and not worth it. I explained to her it was one of the most well-regarded novels ever written and it had hugely influenced 20th Century thinkers and thought, and that it was also of a religious nature and gave some very well-reasoned arguements for the Christian faith, granted a slightly different interpretation of the Christian faith. Alas it was to no avail. At least I don't have to read "The Case for Christ."

The idea of immortality and an afterlife came up, and it seemed to me that she was believed heavily in the born again quid pro quo: "If I love God, believe in him and accept him in my heart, he will love me and accept me into heaven."

To throw a curveball in there, I said, well what if there is no afterlife, according to Ivan Karamazov, 'If there is no immortality, there is no morality.'" I've never been a big fan of Ivan, truth be told he is my least favorite of the Karamazov brothers, nevertheless he does have a good point. A lot of times people carry out moral acts, because they reason it will get them into heaven. In my view, that negates the morality of the act, because in the end, it was comitted for selfish purposes. To Ivan I say "So what?" I say this because people rely on other people for their happiness. A lot of the status symbols we pursue, we pursue as a means of proclaiming our power. The only practical difference between a rolex and a casio is that someone places greater value on a rolex. In that, we're not necessarily buying the watch, because we like it, but buying it so that other people will like us for it. We depend on people for our happiness and people depend on us for our happiness. Whether there is a God or not, this won't change. With or without God, selflessness is the key to man's happiness, in a world without God, and it is the key to morality in a world with God.

Bev didn't take to kindly to this and explained to me that she'd only become born again that March, and she couldn't let herself consider the idea that God may not exist. She seemed very constrained in her thinking. While she liked the idea of Christian love, she was more interested in the idea of faith.

I've only known Bev since mid-June and she always struck me as a person who had been religious for a bit longer than 6 months. Naturally I asked her what had brought her to "accept Jesus and Christianity."

She explained to me that this past Winter, she has been going through a tough time, facing "a crisis". She felt over-worked and under-appreciated by my Uncle. Family life took a back seat to her home, which led to discontent in the household. While home for a few of her days off this March, she decided on a whim to go to Church. For the first time in months, she felt uplifted by the words of her pastor and decided to continue down that alley. Six months later, she can talk about Pentacostal Preachers with the other women in the office like the best of them.

Understanding Bev a bit better now, I can see the appeal of zealous Southern Christianity. I remember when I was in College, doing all kinds of fucked up things, there were a lot of times I longed to become some kind of religiously devout Alyosha Karamazov of sorts, and stop being a drunk asshole. That's the appeal of most religions, whether you are objectively wrong or right, most religions seek to provide you with a moral compass, which will make you feel that you are right. More than anything else, it's a means through which people can feel good about themselves. In that regard even Bev's whacky faith is really good, because it gives her a sense of purpose. Nevertheless, I see this as the danger of religion as well. In essence, it becomes a tool people use to build up their self-image, and people go to such rediculous lengths just to preserve this self-image. In the religion becomes just as trite as a shiney, new BMW.

I am not saying anything to new or revolutionary. Voltaire and many others have opined on these points in a far more articulate and coherent manner than I have just.

Regardless of how irrational, ill-founded and just plain silly I deam all of these religious beliefs to be, I can see now that by challenging them, I have been challenging their very right to be happy.