Reason #468 Why Oklahoma Sucks
PRAISE THE LORD I'll be leaving Oklahoma in a week in a half. Living in the Mid-West has truely been an enlightening experience. I've always been vaguely conscious that this part of the America has existed, but I never realized how bad it really could get. Living in Russia, I can't count how many times some crazy Russian would come up to me and tell me about how Americans were fat, stupid, uneducated, etc. and how many times I had to explain that was just a stereotype and it wasn't really true. After living in Oklahoma for 3 months, I have to shamefully admit the crazy Russians were right. Places like Oklahoma make me ashamed to be an American.
So today in the office, as I was walking past the office secretaries to get a cup of coffee, I was thinking about some of the things President Ahmedinejad of Iran recently said in an interview with CNN. Now hate Iran if you want to, but he has some pretty valid points about Israel. Why were the Palestinians punished for crimes the Nazis committed? Lets face it, America wouldn’t have half of the problems in the Middle East that it has now if it weren’t for fucking Israel. So on my way back, I commented, “You know, I’ve been thinking, and I wonder, why the hell, do we support Israel?”
To which, one of the secretaries responded, “Well why shouldn’t we?”
“Well, America wouldn’t have half of our problems in the Middle-East if we have now if it hadn’t been for Israel, like 9/11 probably never would have happened.”
Then one of the other secretaries chimed in, “That’s not true. They hate us, because of our freedom. It’s in their religion.”
WOW
So I calmly explained to her that Osama Bin Laden himself has said that our support of Israel was one of the main reasons he cited for perpetrating Osama Bin Laden.
Stumped, the third secretary chimed in, “Well, we support Israel, because God wills it so. It’s in the Bible.”
At about that point I walked away, afraid I was going to say something that would really offend someone.