So after lunch, the debate over religion continued on a bit. I stopped by Bev's (the aforementioned VP) office on my way to get a coke at lunch, and started praising the Brothers Karamazov to her. When I told her it was 900 pags, she said, well I can't read that, it's too long and not worth it. I explained to her it was one of the most well-regarded novels ever written and it had hugely influenced 20th Century thinkers and thought, and that it was also of a religious nature and gave some very well-reasoned arguements for the Christian faith, granted a slightly different interpretation of the Christian faith. Alas it was to no avail. At least I don't have to read "The Case for Christ."

The idea of immortality and an afterlife came up, and it seemed to me that she was believed heavily in the born again quid pro quo: "If I love God, believe in him and accept him in my heart, he will love me and accept me into heaven."

To throw a curveball in there, I said, well what if there is no afterlife, according to Ivan Karamazov, 'If there is no immortality, there is no morality.'" I've never been a big fan of Ivan, truth be told he is my least favorite of the Karamazov brothers, nevertheless he does have a good point. A lot of times people carry out moral acts, because they reason it will get them into heaven. In my view, that negates the morality of the act, because in the end, it was comitted for selfish purposes. To Ivan I say "So what?" I say this because people rely on other people for their happiness. A lot of the status symbols we pursue, we pursue as a means of proclaiming our power. The only practical difference between a rolex and a casio is that someone places greater value on a rolex. In that, we're not necessarily buying the watch, because we like it, but buying it so that other people will like us for it. We depend on people for our happiness and people depend on us for our happiness. Whether there is a God or not, this won't change. With or without God, selflessness is the key to man's happiness, in a world without God, and it is the key to morality in a world with God.

Bev didn't take to kindly to this and explained to me that she'd only become born again that March, and she couldn't let herself consider the idea that God may not exist. She seemed very constrained in her thinking. While she liked the idea of Christian love, she was more interested in the idea of faith.

I've only known Bev since mid-June and she always struck me as a person who had been religious for a bit longer than 6 months. Naturally I asked her what had brought her to "accept Jesus and Christianity."

She explained to me that this past Winter, she has been going through a tough time, facing "a crisis". She felt over-worked and under-appreciated by my Uncle. Family life took a back seat to her home, which led to discontent in the household. While home for a few of her days off this March, she decided on a whim to go to Church. For the first time in months, she felt uplifted by the words of her pastor and decided to continue down that alley. Six months later, she can talk about Pentacostal Preachers with the other women in the office like the best of them.

Understanding Bev a bit better now, I can see the appeal of zealous Southern Christianity. I remember when I was in College, doing all kinds of fucked up things, there were a lot of times I longed to become some kind of religiously devout Alyosha Karamazov of sorts, and stop being a drunk asshole. That's the appeal of most religions, whether you are objectively wrong or right, most religions seek to provide you with a moral compass, which will make you feel that you are right. More than anything else, it's a means through which people can feel good about themselves. In that regard even Bev's whacky faith is really good, because it gives her a sense of purpose. Nevertheless, I see this as the danger of religion as well. In essence, it becomes a tool people use to build up their self-image, and people go to such rediculous lengths just to preserve this self-image. In the religion becomes just as trite as a shiney, new BMW.

I am not saying anything to new or revolutionary. Voltaire and many others have opined on these points in a far more articulate and coherent manner than I have just.

Regardless of how irrational, ill-founded and just plain silly I deam all of these religious beliefs to be, I can see now that by challenging them, I have been challenging their very right to be happy.

Round 2:
Seeing as I haven't had any work to do since the beginning of the week, it has led my idle mind to wander. Ever since the two new born-again Christian secretaries signed on, God, his divine greatness himself has been the topic of the office the past few days. When I walked into work 15 minutes late today, the God-Squad was already assembled in the front lobby, talking about what preachers they listen to, etc.

This whole born-again Christian stuff is pretty wierd. The other day, as we were commemorating one of the VP's 17th anniversary on the job, I made some wise crack about a disassociative fugue and described what it was. One of the same God-squad secretaries made a crack about LSD in response. Now, from my experience with drugs and people who use them, generally people who haven't used a drug before don't bring it up in casual conversation. In other words, if she had said something general about "drugs," it would be far less suspect than bringing up the specific drug LSD. She's about the age of people who would've tried it to. Anyway, I am getting off topic. It seems to me from my interaction with Oklahomans, that a lot of born-agains start off their life being "sinful," doing drugs, drinking, promiscuity, the whole 9... Then all of a sudden at the age of say 50, they realize most of their life is over and they start thinking "OH SHIT... I gotta do something." In other words, becoming born-again seems to be a euphamism for mid-life crisis. And born again Christianity is so compatible with these people. All they have to do is say they found Jesus, and they are golden. Hey, I'm with JC, I'm a good person, I am going to heaven now. To put it mildly, the faith seems a bit insincere, but then again, I am saying nothing new or revolutionary. Self-delusion is a very powerful thing.

In any case, so I decided to enter the fray a bit with the God-squad, and I agreed with one of them, the same aforementioned VP, to read some book called "The Case for Christ." From what she's told me, a bunch of quack academics got together and tried to prove everything in the bible is true... kinda like one of those programs you see on the history channel. In turn, she agreed to read "The Brothers Karamazov." In any case, as I started to futily argue employing the tools of reason, all of the secretaries began to pity me and tell me how awful it was that I hadn't found God and faith. I told them I am Christian and I pray every night, I just temper my faith with a bit of reason. Which they jumped all over, and told me that I couldn't employ any reason in my belief system... no wonder Oklahoma is so fucked up.

In any case, this whole incident just strikes me as one of the many reasons why Oklahoma is fucked up and is fucking up our whole country. People believe if they belief in God, have faith, etc. God will do good by them, help them out, make sure good things happen to them, so long as they keep up the irrational belief that everything in the bible is ture. God created the earth in 6 days, etc... Aside from the fact that this complacency is driving America into the ground and preventing the American government from taking the necessary actions to stay relevant in the world, and make it so the rest of the world stops hating us, I find that these beliefs are a bit sickening in another regard. The rural born again Christians have effectively distilled religion and Christianity down to a quid pro quo. It seems to me, that a lot of Born-agains merely believe, because they believe that they will reep benefits from their irrational belief, but don't really ever make any effort to follow the tenants of Christianity. From what I have seen, born-agains are just as biggotted, close-minded and xenophobic as any group of people on the face of the earth, but they still are gonna go to heaven, and they're gonna meet Jesus at the gates, because Jesus likes them, because they like him. I'm not saying anything new or revolutionary. I think most of my friends from VA or the north are well aware of the hypocrisy of fundamentalist Christianity. The only thing that's really new is that I am surrounded by it every day.

I am starting to wonder how these people will react once America eventually hits terminal velocity on its inevitable downturn in economics and world standing. I can't wait to see the round-the-clock pray-athon as the dollar becomes de-valued and the born-agains can no longer afford to get massive Sonic triple bacon cheeseburger every day. Shortly thereafter, I predict the witch trials to begin, as the crisis is blamed on impure souls in their midst. Fortunately, by that point I will be very, very far away from Oklahoma. Otherwise, crusifiction seems like a very likely fate for me.

Reason #468 Why Oklahoma Sucks
PRAISE THE LORD I'll be leaving Oklahoma in a week in a half. Living in the Mid-West has truely been an enlightening experience. I've always been vaguely conscious that this part of the America has existed, but I never realized how bad it really could get. Living in Russia, I can't count how many times some crazy Russian would come up to me and tell me about how Americans were fat, stupid, uneducated, etc. and how many times I had to explain that was just a stereotype and it wasn't really true. After living in Oklahoma for 3 months, I have to shamefully admit the crazy Russians were right. Places like Oklahoma make me ashamed to be an American.
So today in the office, as I was walking past the office secretaries to get a cup of coffee, I was thinking about some of the things President Ahmedinejad of Iran recently said in an interview with CNN. Now hate Iran if you want to, but he has some pretty valid points about Israel. Why were the Palestinians punished for crimes the Nazis committed? Lets face it, America wouldn’t have half of the problems in the Middle East that it has now if it weren’t for fucking Israel. So on my way back, I commented, “You know, I’ve been thinking, and I wonder, why the hell, do we support Israel?”
To which, one of the secretaries responded, “Well why shouldn’t we?”
“Well, America wouldn’t have half of our problems in the Middle-East if we have now if it hadn’t been for Israel, like 9/11 probably never would have happened.”
Then one of the other secretaries chimed in, “That’s not true. They hate us, because of our freedom. It’s in their religion.”
WOW
So I calmly explained to her that Osama Bin Laden himself has said that our support of Israel was one of the main reasons he cited for perpetrating Osama Bin Laden.
Stumped, the third secretary chimed in, “Well, we support Israel, because God wills it so. It’s in the Bible.”
At about that point I walked away, afraid I was going to say something that would really offend someone.